Apology

I apologize for taking 2 weeks to write anything. Things have been CRAZY around here. I've been going to parties and movies. I've gone to the rodeo. I've wanted to kill some people, and I've been missing others that left this world in my life.

There is one person who I miss more than anybody right now. He was my grandfather's best friend here in Jersey. He was like another grandfather to me and Shannon. Mr. Marvin just had that way about him that when you were around him, you couldn't help but laugh yourself silly. My family had actually saved his life in a way because we urged him to go to our cardiologist when he started having chest problems. Shortly after he went to an appointment, he had to have open heart surgery. I forget exactly what they had to do (pacemaker or bypass....and if it was bypass, I don't remember if it was triple, double, etc.) but doing that surgery kept him alive for about 2 or 3 more years than we thought he was gonna live.
I remember the night he died very clearly. He hadn't been feeling that great, so his girlfriend (another family friend...we did a match-maker thing there ;] ) called my grandfather who told her to call an ambulance My mom and poppop had gone up to the hospital with Mr. Marvin's girlfriend and met up with his family there. They found out then that he had died while at the hospital. My mom then called my grandmom and told her. I walked down into the kitchen from being on the computer to find my grandmom crying. I asked her what was wrong, and that's when she told me and Shannon that Mr. Marvin had died. The night was the hardest for me ever. I couldn't stop crying.
I went to the viewing with my family. That was the hardest viewing to attend. I kept wanting him to open his eyes and tell me that I had better stop crying like I heard him say so many other times when he would be in the hospital. I had wanted to go to the funeral the next day, but I had a field trip that day to NJIT. Now it sounds silly that instead of going to the funeral of the man that was such a big part of my life that I went to a stupid field trip. But I knew that if I had gone to his funeral instead of the field trip, Mr. Marvin would have killed me. He would have wanted me to be with my friends instead of mourning his death. Everyone else in my family went to the funeral. My sister said that she cried the entire time. And my grandfather had to do his best friend's funeral. Apparently he choked up a few times while doing the funeral. Once they made it to the cemetery, my mom said that she actually saw him wipe away a tear.
A few days after the funeral, I finally made it to his grave. Just as I started to cry, the heavens opened up and it started to rain. My aunt kept trying to get me to get into the car cuz it was raining. I wouldn't budge. Not even when my mom tried to get me in the car. Finally after I stopped crying my eyes out completely, I finally got in the car. And to be honest, I think that's when I finally let go of Mr. Marvin. I haven't cried solely for him since that day, tho I have come close to crying for his memory whenever I go past the cemetery now. And on October 29, I am going to be driving myself to the cemetery to pay respect to him on the second anniversary of his death. He died exactly a month after his birthday.
Rest in peace, Mr. Marvin. We miss you so much.